his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
