Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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