he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
