I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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