You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
