So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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