Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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