If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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