After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
