Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
