THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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