Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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