You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
