Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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