no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
