i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
should my penis look like a turkey
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
