It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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