the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
