chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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