Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize