My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
