yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
