we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she peed on how many people?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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