ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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