Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
