Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she peed on how many people?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
