I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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