Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
