Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
