Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize