so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I need a burrito and a hug.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
