Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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