So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
