WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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