Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
