it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
