Do you still have your period?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
