Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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