this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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