angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's blow job season.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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