sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
