He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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