Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
