Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
