I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
