I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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