my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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