Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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