dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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