hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Rumble strips road head = magical
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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