just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
