Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
