ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
